Application received

Our adoption agency called yesterday to tell us they have received our application and everything is in order. We need a different letter from our doctor now but we will get that on Tuesday when we go in for physicals (including drug, HIV, TB and Hepatitis tests). After that we can schedule our orientation call for them to go over all the details of the program.

We continue to get donations for the yard sale. There is no place to store the items at church so I am continuing to pack it in the garage. It is an amazing amount of stuff.

A friend of mine brought me things earlier in the week. When I ran into her today she told me she had more things for me. Her husband died suddenly two years ago and she was offering me his clothes and shoes. She said she hadn't been able to let go of them before now, but knowing they were going for such a good reason made her able to give them up. Wow. I was really moved by her offer.

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The application is in!!!

Woohoo, our official paper application is in the mail to the adoption agency! We were being held up waiting for a letter from our doctor and now we have the letter (with a glowing endorsement of our parenting!) and the paperwork is in the mail.

We also started our CA background check today. The FBI and state (we have to do CA and TX) background checks take several months so I am just crossing my fingers that those come back as soon as possible.

I have been so impressed with both our home study and adoption agencies. All the emails I receive from them have clear, step-by-step instructions and they always respond to my emails very quickly. We sent a fax to the adoption agency today and they emailed me within 15 minutes to confirm that they received it and put it in our file.

I started offering drop-in babysitting at my house on Mondays (more money for the adoption!) so I have an extra kiddo in the house today. The kids think it is fun to have a friend over so it is a great situation for everyone.

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Speech at church

Yesterday I spoke in front of the whole congregation at church and told them about the adoption. I was really nervous. I was worried that I would cry so I asked my best friend to make eye contact with me if I got emotional. When I looked over at her she was crying. Then I looked at another friend and she was crying. So I ended up choking up a bit myself. I just hope people could understand what I was saying!

Here is the part of my speech where I talked about the earthquake in Haiti and how it led us to consider adopting:

As I watched the news from Haiti I was overwhelmed by a feeling of helplessness. The news was so upsetting that one night Jed encouraged to take a break and watch something else. I flipped around and came to rerun of the movie Titanic.

At the end of the movie the ship sinks and hundreds of people are plunged into the water. In one of the nearby lifeboats a woman encourages everyone in the boat to grab an oar and go back for the people in the water. No one will help her. She looks at them and says, “I don’t understand a one of you. There is plenty of room for more.”

At that moment I looked around at my safe, comfy house and thought, “there is plenty of room for more.” Would God want me to sit in my own little lifeboat or would he want me to grab an oar?”

After that part of the speech I managed to catch my breath and finish in a calmer voice. I told everyone about the upcoming yard sale fundraiser.

After the service several people came up to me and said they would have donations for the sale. My pastor said I can use the sanctuary the day before the sale to get everything organized. After all the work I did organizing our own family yard I am a little bit scared about organizing this big church sale.

Not long after we got home from church I started getting phone calls from friends in our neighborhood offering to bring over donations for the yard sale. Five families brought us things and our garage is now full of stuff for the sale! We had people bring everything from TVs to clothes to a stuffed deer head. This should be an interesting yard sale.

This morning Jed and I had our fingerprints taken so we can send them to the FBI for our background check. This is one of the longest steps in the process so I am excited that we have it done already!

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Our church is amazing!

I recently shared our plans to adopt with our pastor. She was amazingly supportive! We talked about the expense and she said I could ask our session (the governing board of our church) if I could do a fundraiser at the church.

So last night at the meeting I asked if I could hold a yard sale at the church and ask church members to donate things to sell. The response was overwhelming. The love and support I felt from my church family brought me to tears. How wonderful it will be to tell our daughter how everyone in the church came together to bring her here!

The yard sale is scheduled for May 15 (please don't let it rain!). My neighborhood yard sale is this weekend so I am going to clear out as much as I can so I have less to take to the church. Several of my neighbors are going to donate their leftovers from their sales this weekend to be sold at the church sale.

We are blessed indeed!

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Homestudy paperwork submitted

I mailed off our first batch of paperwork for the homestudy today! Jed and I worked through it all pretty fast and I was pretty excited to drop that thick packet of paper into the mailbox.

We are still waiting for our doctor to give us a form that we need for the adoption agency. Our application can't be finalized without it. I asked for it on Monday and I am trying to take deep breaths and wait patiently for it.

I am reminded of the prayer they use in AA:

God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change,
courage to change the things we can,
and wisdom to know the difference.

There will be many, many times in the process where I am waiting on someone else. I have to accept that I cannot change that and learn to be patient. But that is easier said than done. Right now all I can think is that the delay with the medical form is costing me 4 days (so far) with our daughter. I am in need of a big dose of serenity.

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My Adoption Paperwork Desk

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The paperwork begins . . .

Our pre-application (shorter on-line application) was approved so now we are submitting our formal adoption application to our agency. At the same time we are working on the paperwork for our homestudy. Both the adoption agency and the homestudy agency require a tremendous amount of paperwork. I have dedicated a table in our room (formally my sewing table before I sold the sewing machine to help pay for the adoption) that will be exclusively for the adoption paperwork. As organized as I think I am, I can see how it would be easy to miss a piece of the paperwork.

I have been filling out forms for about 3 hours so far today. How do I describe my parenting style? What are my strengths and weaknesses as a spouse? What are my personal goals?

These are tough questions. I also had to write my autobiography describing everything from my childhood through today.

The next step is to get physicals. We have to have TB and HIV tests. Our doctor has to describe any medical conditions we have and how they would impact an adoptive child.

Whew, and we have only just begun.

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We Change Agencies

Although we really liked some of the people from the agency we were planning to use, overall we felt they didn't have enough experience and weren't organized. So I went back to my research to find the best agency for us.

We have picked All God's Children. It looks like a wonderful agency with 18 years of experience. I've spoken with one of their adoption coordinators and I found her to be caring and completely open with me. We talked at length about the Ethiopia program and the costs. So today we submitted our pre-application! Our full application will follow shortly and then we will begin our home study.

Speaking of the home study . . .

Wow, that was another big decision to make! All God's Children (AGC) recommends several agencies in Texas that do home studies. So after all the adoption agency research I threw myself into the home study agency research. I have found a good agency that is located in Austin and we are going to start the process right away. We have already been getting together various paperwork (birth and marriage certificates, tax forms, etc.).

Meanwhile, the fundraising continues. I feel pretty happy with the progress we are making. Our big yard sale is next weekend. I hope we can make a lot from that. I have gone through every closet, looked under every bed and cleaned out every cabinet. If it has any value it is up for sale!

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Our Amazing Children!

Just as I was feeling a bit discouraged Jared and Laine proved to me that we are on the right path.

When I picked Jared up at school today I saw posters for an upcoming March of Dimes fundraiser. I asked Jared is he would like to take some coins from his piggy bank and put them in the donation bottle. His response was, "No, Mom! I want those coins to go to my new baby sister. We need all of our money for her."

Then as soon as we got home both kids brought their piggy banks downstairs and happily poured them out on the sofa. I promised to roll the coins and put them in our special savings account.

We are truly blessed to have such amazing kids!

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Difficult news

When we were considering which country to adopt from we looked at the travel that was required. We chose Ethiopia because it was one of the few countries that didn't require both parents to travel to bring the child home. Jed and I don't want to leave Jared and Laine for a long time. Some countries, like Russia, required both parents to go for two weeks and then one parent to go back for up to two weeks. Ethiopia was even offering an escort program that wouldn't have required either of us to go.

Today we learned that Ethiopia has changed these requirements. Most likely we would both need to go. There is a chance that I could be given power of attorney for Jed and go on my own but that would further complicate the adoption.

The Ethiopian government also announced that they were shutting down numerous orphanages. I don't know how this affects the agency we have been planning to use. Will we need to change agencies? Will the wait time now be even longer?

I have to just take a deep breath and let things happen. We know this is a long process and I am sure this will be the first of many bumps in the road.

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We tell the kids!

On Saturday morning we brought the kids into our bed. After some snuggling and pillow fighting we settled them down to talk to them about the adoption. We asked them if they would like for there to be a new baby in our family.

Jared's response: YES, YES, YES!!!
Laine's response: Will she be a girl? Then, yes, yes, yes!

We talked about how this baby wouldn't come from mommy's tummy but would be adopted. Both kids loved this idea. Jed and I have decided that we want a little girl. We were worried about how Jared would feel about this. When I said we would probably get a girl he said, "good, now she can play with Laine and Laine will leave me alone some of the time."

In all seriousness, they were both thrilled with the idea of having a new baby sister. We swore them to secrecy and tried to explain that this would take a long time. Kids their age aren't known for patience, let's hope we didn't tell them too early.

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There are signs everywhere!

As Jed and I continue on our journey of making this decision it seems like there are signs everywhere.

The biggest sign was that the health care bill passed. What does that have to with adoption? Remember that tax credit I mentioned in an earlier post? It turns out there was a provision to extend and actually increase that credit in the health care bill! That means that if we complete the adoption in 2011 we will get over $13,000 of the expenses back from the government. Wow! Talk about feeling that guiding hand.

Other signs have been smaller. Like when I went to my local coffee shop and their special blend of the month came from Ethiopia. There I was sitting at a table staring at a sign with a map of Africa with a red heart over Ethiopia. Two days before that I was watching a video of an American couple in Ethiopia meeting their child for the first time. The mom in the video was wearing the exact same shirt I was wearing while I sat in front of my computer. Signs!

I opened a special savings account at a new bank today. This will only be used for the adoption. Once we have enough money for the initial fees we can move forward!

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