4 months ago . . .

It has been exactly four months since we got the call telling us who our new daughter would be. It was a hot, summer day and the kids were excited about school starting the following morning. Now it is a cold, winter day and they are excited about Christmas. But for me and Jed this Christmas is bittersweet because we still do not know when we will bring our little Gayle home.

I thought being on the wait list was hard, then I thought seeing her face and waiting three months to meet her was hard. But nothing can compare to how hard this part is. There are days when the pain of being separated from her is so bad I can hardly breathe. I have even learned to cry without letting a single tear fall so that I don't upset our other kids. The wait isn't any easier on Jed but he is better at having the tough exterior. I see him looking at her pictures and watching videos of her and I know exactly what he is feeling inside. The pain is just as strong as it would be if I had carried her inside me for nine months, given birth to her and then been separated from her. We were prepared to fall in love with her but not to fall this hard.

Gayle's stocking hangs on the mantle and come Christmas morning it will be filled with presents from Santa. Jared and Laine will have fun opening the presents and thinking about their sister. Jed and I will remind each other that this is the last Christmas without her. We pray now for a New Year that brings word from the US Embassy that we can bring her home.

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Our file is open at the US Embassy!

We received word today that our file is at the US Embassy for review! What does that mean? It means our court decree and Gayle's birth certificate have been issued and she has had the required medical review by a doctor approved by the embassy. This week they will start reviewing our file and see what other information they need before they can legally consider her an orphan and adoptable by a US citizen (I realize that is a little crazy since both the Ethiopian and the US governments already consider her legally our child).

The embassy may ask for additional documents, clarification of information in our file or even require interviews with people related to Gayle or who have information about her adoption. If things go smoothly, we could have all of this completed in the next couple of weeks and then we will get a few days notice to get on a plane and bring her home!

Oh, how I would love to start the New Year in Ethiopia!

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"They are yours!" (first trip to Ethiopia-part 2)

On Monday we got up early, put on our nice clothes and left for court. The court building is very basic and looked like any other office building. But once we got to the fifth floor we were led into a large room full of people. Everyone in the room was there to see the one judge that oversees all adoption cases. Half of the people were adoptive families and the other half were people there to relinquish their kids. The mood in the room is very serious and respectful.

We waited about 25 minutes and then we were called into the judge's office along with the other two couples we were traveling with. The judge asked us if we had other kids and if they knew about the adoption and were happy about it. We easily said yes. Then she asked if we had learned about Ethiopia and if we planned to teach our kids about their heritage and culture. Again, we said yes. She then explained that the adoption would be final and were we sure we wanted to adopt these kids. That was the easiest yes of all! Then she said, "they are yours!" With those words we officially became the parents of Gayle Metekaeta Jones.

I fought tears as we left the room and then went downstairs. Our whole group was silent and I think we were in awe of what had just happened. Once we were outside we were able to talk and very quietly congratulate each other. I was very aware that the people around us could be there to give up their kids and tried not to show too much emotion.

Once we left court we went shopping. We knew we wanted to buy Gayle some traditional Ethiopian clothing in various sizes as well as find some gifts for Jared and Delainey. I am terrible at haggling so I left most of it to Jed. He was doing great until I got so uncomfortable with the haggling that I burst into the conversation and accepted their price. I know we could have gotten our items for less but by that time I was a little overwhelmed emotionally and not at the top of my game.

After our shopping trip we went to a wonderful Italian restaurant and art gallery. We sat in a room with walls covered in art work and ate yummy pizzas and pasta. It was a wonderful way to celebrate!





After lunch we went back to Hannah's Hope for some time with our little ones. Even though I know Gayle didn't understand I whispered into her ear that I was officially her mommy. My heart was overflowing with love for this precious little girl who was now my daughter.

The following day was our last day in Ethiopia. We spent all day at Hannah's Hope with Gayle with only a brief break back at the hotel for lunch and rest. At 5:00pm we had to say our goodbyes. Even though I have been trying to prepare myself for that moment for almost two years it was still harder than I imagined. Leaving without her was the hardest things I have ever had to do.

By 8:00pm we were sitting in our hotel lobby, packed and ready to go to the airport. Once we got to the airport we waited in one long line after another before finally making it to our gate. Our flight left at 11:30pm and nine hours later we were in Germany. We had a five hour layover before getting onto the next plane for an eleven hour flight to Houston. Once we got to Houston we missed our connecting flight, ran around the airport like crazy people and finally got onto a flight that landed in Austin at 7:30pm.

When we got home we were greeted by two ecstatic kids that were happy to have us back. One of the first things Delainey asked was when would we get to bring her new sister home. Oh how I wish I knew the answer!

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Meeting our Daughter (1st trip to Ethiopia-part one)

On Thanksgiving Day we kissed our kids goodbye, hugged their grandparents, and got on a plane for Ethiopia. We had a short stop in Houston before our long flight to Frankfurt. While waiting in Frankfurt we met up with two other couples that are also adopting with our agency and that would be our companions for the next week.



After a four hour layover we boarded a plane for Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. We arrived seven hours later at 9:30pm and my eyes filled with tears knowing we were landing in the country of our daughter's birth.





Once we got off the plane we got our visas and went through immigration. Then we picked up our bags and had to get into a crazy, chaotic line to put them through an x-ray machine before we left the airport. People were piling bags on top of each other and we just tried to get through as quickly as we could without losing any of our bags. Finally, all three couples had our luggage and we met a driver from our hotel.

Twenty minutes later we arrived at the Hotel Riviera. The hotel is nice and very safe. We checked into our room and unpacked and settled in. It was midnight before we fell asleep (although we were exhausted we could hardly sleep knowing that we were finally going to meet Gayle!) and we were back awake at 4:00am. We watched a DVD in bed and then gave up any hope of going back to sleep. We finally got dressed and went to the restaurant downstairs for breakfast. The breakfast buffet was yummy with French toast, an omelet bar and the best coffee I have ever tasted. Ethiopia is the birth place of coffee and there is nothing like it!

By 9:30am we had gathered with the other two couples and the driver came to take us to Hannah's Hope, the transition home our daughter has lived in for the last 4 months. Hannah's Hope is only a few minutes from the hotel and before we knew it we saw a sign for our agency that let us know we were almost there.



We turned off the main road onto a bumpy side street and finally we pulled up to the black gates of Hannah's Hope. We entered those gates and then went immediately to the "baby house." We were told that the babies were in the large playroom on the ground floor on the left. Just as I was about to turn to the left to go into the playroom I saw a woman, one of the special mothers, coming down the stairs with a baby. Even from far away I knew it was our Gayle!

She handed me Gayle and I just held her close trying to take in everything about her. I wanted to remember exactly how she felt and how she smelled. She was curious about me and definitely knew that I was a stranger. But she didn't cry or seem upset. After a couple of minutes I handed her to her father and watched with joy as Jed's face lit up just like it did when our other kids were first handed to him minutes after they were born.

We took her into the playroom and took turns holding her and giving her a bottle. Although she was content being with us she rarely smiled (at least that day!). She fell asleep in my arms and then one of her special mothers took her upstairs for her nap.

Then we filled out paperwork for her visa and had our orientation. Hannah's Hope is like a well-oiled machine. At all times people are busy caring for the kids, cleaning, cooking or doing paperwork. The facility is very nice and all of the kids were happy. We had fun playing outside with some of the older kids (ages three to nine) before leaving for the day.

We went back to our hotel for lunch and then spent the rest of the day in our room. Because it was a Saturday there wasn't as much staff at Hannah's Hope and we were only allowed to visit in the morning.

That night we again slept only four hours and watched the sun come up from our hotel room window. We followed the same routine of breakfast at the hotel and then off to Hannah's Hope.

On the second day Gayle seemed more comfortable with me and gave me several smiles. She liked when we lifted her in the air and she liked playing on my lap. She coo'ed and made a lot of noise. It was like music to my ears! While we were playing outside I took off her socks so I could marvel at her tiny little toes.



Later I got to change her and give her a bottle. She fell asleep in my arms for almost two hours and I just held that warm little bundle and thanked God for bringing us to her.

Around 2:30pm we went back to our hotel to rest for a little bit. Then we went out to a cultural dinner with the two other couples, our driver and one of the administrators from Hannah's Hope.

The dinner was amazing! Not only did we enjoy traditional Ethiopian food (which I love) but we also watched dancers and listened to music. The dancers performed dances from different regions within Ethiopia and it was so exciting to see the dances from Gayle's region.



After dinner we went back to the hotel to try to get a good night's sleep before our very important court appointment the next day!

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An Unexpected Surprise

Yesterday was just one of those rough days that happen in life. Woke up with a headache, ran errands all day and just couldn't stop counting the days until we leave to meet our daughter. All day I felt distracted and my heart felt pulled to a little girl I have never even held. So I was not looking forward to my PTA board meeting last night. As president I knew I needed to lead a meeting about budget cuts and some other tough topics.

So imagine my surprise and delight when I walked into the meeting to find that two of the board members were throwing me a little baby shower complete with a pink and white cake and baby items all over the tables. But the most beautiful thing was the lovely framed poem they gave me.



The adoption journey is one of faith, hope and patience. I have felt all three of these things greatly tested over the last 21 months. But it is always the simple, kind and thoughtful support of friends and family that help me through it.

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Chosen Marathon

We had an amazing day at the Chosen Marathon for Adoption! The marathon/half-marathon is a really neat event that raises money for orphans and adoptive families. We had a team in the marathon and 100% of our team members' entry fees go straight to our adoption. This makes it an awesome fundraiser as well as a cool event to get together with other people that are passionate about adoption.

I signed up for the marathon about 6 months ago. Then two months ago Jed decided he really wanted to do this run. I have done three half-marathons but this was Jed's first!

The marathon was in New Braunfels (a little over an hour away) so we drove down Friday night and stayed at the Howard Johnson's. The kids think all hotels, even budget ones, are really cool so they were just thrilled to be there.

We got up before 6:00am and drove Jed to the marathon so he could start at 7:00am. The kids and I were still in our pajamas and after the drop off we hung out at HoJo eating our complimentary breakfast, still in our PJs. Jared and Laine had a blast making their own Texas shaped waffles!





Before we knew it, it was time to get dressed and head back to the run to watch Jed cross the finish line. The kids had signs they made for him and stood on the sidelines watching him run towards us. They were so proud of their dad! (Okay, I was pretty proud too!)






After the marathon we met up with some other members of our team. I was touched that they had joined our team and loved being there and seeing all of the other adoptive families literally running with all their hearts for the kids they love.

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Baby Shower!

I was so blessed to have some wonderful friends throw me a baby shower last Sunday. Three friends baked cookies and made a fun cookies and milk shower. There were 1,000 cookies there!





My friend Kristin even thought to have Delainey help with her big sister's shower. She took Delainey shopping for decorations, had her buy a gift for Gayle and then had her help set up. Delainey was smiling the entire weekend and loved being with her best friend Kamryn (Kristin's daughter).





I was really touched by the thoughtful gifts and beautiful cards. One sweet friend even found two neat children's books about adoption. Once we got all of the presents home Gayle's room was filled and I think we are ready for her arrival.




But the best part was that my mom came from California for the shower. I think this is the last grandbaby she will be getting so I was so happy to have her at the shower to share in the celebration!

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We Have our Court Date!

On Thanksgiving we will get on a plane and finally get to meet our daughter! We will hold her a little more than three months after seeing her face for the first time. We have been anxiously awaiting the call with our court info and now it feels surreal. Jed and I were out buying new running shoes when our case worker called. I was actually jumping up and down in the shoe store and we both walked out of there with huge smiles and slightly dazed looks.

Now we need to book tickets and make plans for the kids!

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One Month Since "the call"

It has been a month since we received our referral for our beautiful baby girl, Gayle. It hardly seems possible that we have made it through this month! We talk about her every day and I am thankful that God has given me a sense of peace during this time. Somehow it was harder to wait before we knew who she was. I used to worry all the time about where she was and what she was doing. Now I know she is safe at our agency's transition home and she is being loved and given the best care possible.

We have been busy, busy, busy! We needed to renew our homestudy so that meant we had lots more paperwork, physicals for all four of us, a letter from our accountant, an in home visit from our social worker and new fingerprints for our FBI background check. But I am happy to say we completed the fingerprints today so we should be all done. On top of the FBI fingerprints we need to be reprinted for USCIS (immigration) and we are waiting for that to happen.

We have also been putting the finishing touches on Gayle's room and getting ready for our first trip to Ethiopia (more on that in a minute). We are planning on taking 150 pounds of donations for the orphanages so I have been stockpiling diapers, wipes and formula. Here is our first (of three) full suitcase!



The courts in Ethiopia are still officially closed but we are starting to hear that some work is being done. Our paperwork has been submitted to the courts and we are just waiting for them to give us our court date and let us know when we will travel. We think it will be mid to late November. My birthday is November 22 and the best present in the world would be to hold my baby girl!

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24 Hours After the Call

The last 24 hours have been an emotional, wonderful, productive time. In addition to staring at Gayle's picture about 100 times I also got a lot done. I sent her background and medical information to a pediatrician that specializes in international adoption. He reviewed everything and then had a 40 minute phone consultation with me. He said she looks very healthy and saw no reason for concern. He also said he thought she was really beautiful and I said I couldn't agree more.

Tomorrow we will get a packet of paperwork from our adoption agency. We need to fill out some forms in order to officially accept her referral. Then I mail that in with the last big check (it was a doozy) and our paperwork can be forwarded to Ethiopia to request a court date.

A little more about that big check. It felt a little surreal to go to the bank today. When we first started this process I opened a savings account at a new bank. I wanted it to be completely separate from our other banks so that we would never be the tiniest bit tempted to touch that money.

The tellers at the bank knew why we had the account and they have been our cheerleaders during this process! Today I got to show them a picture of our baby girl and one of them actually teared up. These ladies have seen my struggle to raise this money. They have seen the tiny deposits when I couldn't scrape much together to the big deposits when I had successful fundraising. They heard about our "grocery angel" that sends us gift cards in the mail so our grocery money can go towards the adoption. One of them said she prays daily for us. What an amazing connection I have had with these women!

I left there with a big check (although an empty back account) and a bigger smile.

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WE GOT THE CALL!!!!

For 432 days we have been waiting to see our little girl's face. As hard as those days were they were all worth it! Our case worker called tonight around 5:45pm. As soon as I saw the caller id my heart started racing. I picked up the phone and just blurted out, "is this THE CALL?" She laughed a little and said, "yes."

Then she told us about our baby girl. She is two months old and already weighs over 10 pounds. She has gorgeous, big eyes and chubby cheeks. She is perfect and precious and we are already head over heels in love!

The next step is to have her information reviewed by an international adoption pediatrician and officially accept our referral. Then we wait for a court date. The courts in Ethiopia are closed until mid-October. Once they reopen they can issue our court date. If we are really lucky it could be the end of November.

I can't write anymore because I have to go back and stare at her picture some more!

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13 Months and Counting . . .

How did we celebrate 13 months of being on the waitlist? Putting together Gayle's crib and finishing the painting in her room, of course!

Transforming the bedroom from Jared's room to Gayle's room has been quite the undertaking. Four years ago I painted Jared's room dark blue (walls and ceiling) and my extremely talented friend Kristin painted a rocket ship mural that wrapped from the wall to the ceiling. I put mirrors in the shape of stars on the ceiling and funky touch lights on the walls. A few months ago we moved Jared into his new room. Standing in that empty, blue room I really had to ask myself what I was thinking four years ago.

It took hours to carefully get the mirrors and lights off the walls and ceiling. Then we had to patch several places. Then it took two coats of primer (three for the part with the mural) to cover the blue. Finally, we were able to paint the ceiling off white and the walls a pale pink. I repainted the trim and doors white and now you would never know that room had ever been blue!

Jed spent Saturday morning putting together the crib while I washed all her new bedding. If I had been a fly on the wall I probably would have heard Jed mutter, "I can't believe I am putting together another crib." When we gave away Laine's crib we never thought we need another one. How glad we are that we were wrong!

I ended the day with another of my huge babysitting nights. About once a month I invite up to 20 kids over for babysitting so their parents can go out. I make good money that we put into the adoption fund and our kids usually love it. It is like hosting a big birthday party at our house. We have pizza and do arts & crafts and play games.

By the end of the day I was beyond exhausted but I went to sleep with a huge smile on my face. Somehow that 13 months of waiting doesn't seem so bad.

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July Number!!!

That's right, we are officially #3 for our little girl!!! Wow, after 13 months of waiting I actually cried when I saw that number. It feels like she is within reach and that is a pretty amazing feeling.

We should get "THE CALL" anytime within the next month or two. We don't know the family that is #1 but we do know the family that is #2 are waiting on a child under 12 months. We may actually be the #1 family for a child over 12 months so it really could be any time!

The courts in Ethiopia will be closing in a few weeks for their annual two month break. We don't know the exact date they will reopen but it should be early October. This means that if we get our referral in the next month we could still hope to go to court in maybe late October or November. Then we would have a shot at bringing her home in December. Oh, how I would love to have her here for Christmas!

As excited as the Jones adults are the Jones kids are possibly even more excited (in the way that only kids can be!). Laine was the first to learn our new number and she ran through the house yelling, "number three" over and over again. On Tuesday we were at the pool and I watched Jared play with a toddler boy for about 45 minutes. He didn't even know the little boy but he sat next to the boy and his mom and handed him toys and gently splashed in the water with him. The mom came up to me later and said she had never met such a sweet little boy and said he should have a little brother or sister. I told her we are working on it.

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Welcoming Liya

We had the pleasure of welcoming a beautiful little girl named Liya to Texas on Saturday night. Liya's mom is my awesome friend Kim. Kim and her husband also have a little boy they brought home from Ethiopia over a year ago and grown kids to boot! It was wonderful to be part of Liya's homecoming.

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A Trunk Full of Groceries

Hmm, what does my car loaded down with groceries have to do with our adoption? All of those groceries were bought with a gift card from our secret grocery angel! About every other month a gift card arrives in the mail and we use it to buy groceries and then put our grocery money towards the adoption. We have no idea who is sending us the cards!

All the way to the grocery store Laine was trying to guess who had been sending the cards. She asked me if it was possible that God was sending them. (You know I loved hearing that question!) I told her that God was definitely moving someone's heart in a special way for them to support us like this.

We may never know who has been sending the cards but I hope they can feel my prayers of thanks and know how touched we are.

I am happy to report that with our latest deposit we have all of the money we need to write that last big check to our agency! We are now saving up for our travel expenses. Plane tickets can be as much as $2,500 per person (times 4 plus the one way for Gayle) so I have my work cut out for me.

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Did Our Number Just Go Up???

At this time each month I anxiously await the phone call or email from our caseworker letting us know what our official wait list number is. Even though most of our agency's families are on a message board and keep an unofficial list it is always exciting to get confirmation that our unofficial number is our official number.

Last month we were #9. We know one family got a referral and that moved us up to #8. Then a few days ago a family ahead of us shared that they were being called to adopt a specific child with another agency and were leaving our agency. So I giddily walked around the house saying we were lucky #7.

Then today we got our official number for June and it is . . .



Doesn't that look suspiciously like the #9???

My belief is that the family that is leaving our agency is not officially off the list. So why aren't we #8? My belief on that is that there was a family added to the front of the girls list. This can happen if a family is on the boys or siblings list and they decide to change their parameters to include a girl. They will be added to the wait list based on the day they initially got on the lists.

Despite the surprise I am too happy to let this little number snafu get me down. We will get the child we are meant to have and all my numbers crunching doesn't really amount to much. Plus I am super happy for my friend Kim and her husband as they are preparing to leave for Ethiopia for their second trip and will be bringing their new daughter home the night before Father's Day. Can you imagine a better Father's Day gift than that? We will even get a chance to welcome them home at the airport!

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No More No's (and our May number!)

First, the exciting reveal of our May number:




That's right, we are in the single digits!!!

While I am thrilled to have made it this far I am also being very realistic and preparing myself for a long wait. Things have slowed down in Ethiopia and our agency is not referring as many children as they have in the past. They are being very careful and making sure each child has all of the necessary documents before they match them with a family. This is a good thing. But knowing it is a good thing doesn't make it easy to see us reach, and then pass, the 11th month mark on the wait list.

We have now been waiting so long that our home study and approval paperwork starting to expire. That means the four of us go back to the doctor for physicals, back to the USCIS for fingerprinting and I go back to my desk with a pile of paperwork. Sigh.

Now about those no's.

For the last year the word "no" has been my constant companion. No, I can't plan a vacation because we might be in Ethiopia. No, I can't commit to that because the baby might arrive soon. No, this isn't a good time to make changes. No, we can't afford to do that right now.

But facing the very real possibility that we might not complete the adoption in 2011 I have decided to start saying yes. We are going on vacation this summer and I plan to go to the Created for Care adoption retreat in January. I have jumped in with both feet and accepted the job as PTA President for next year. I have committed to my kids that they can still go to summer camp and that we will have an awesome summer with our usual fun outings.

Gayle will come to us when the time is right. There is nothing I can do to predict it or to control it. I have realized that everyone knows our situation and if I have to scale back or back out of a commitment people will understand.

It feels so good to say yes!

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April Number

Okay, no big news here. We are officially #12 for the month of April. If you are thinking that we were number 12 the last time I posted, well, then you are correct. We haven't moved at all in almost a month. I think some of this is caused by the slowdown with the Ethiopia government and some may just be the regular ebb of flow of the process. I might feel down about the lack of movement, but thanks to a smear of peanut butter I have a pretty good outlook.

So how did a smear of peanut butter change my outlook? Well, this morning started out like most mornings. I woke up each of my kids by getting into their beds and having a "good morning snuggle." Then I helped Laine pick out her clothes (a major decision in our house) and we all headed to the kitchen for breakfast. I started to make breakfast and as I reached into the cabinet for bowls I saw a giant smear of peanut butter on the door.

I felt annoyed with the kids for leaving that mess on the cabinet and I put my hands on my hips and prepared to give them a stern lecture. Then I looked at them sitting at the table, still a little sleepy but happy and looking forward to the day ahead. I took my hands off my hips and said a prayer of thanks that my kids don't have peanut allergies. I said a prayer of thanks that they are now old enough and responsible enough to make their own PB&Js. Then I said a prayer of thanks that these wonderful beings are in my life and that I was given the amazing gift of this moment with them. I quickly wiped off the peanut butter and got back to making breakfast.

So today when I received the email with our official number I thought about that peanut butter. I thought about all the blessings in my life, including the daughter that is not yet ours. When she is home and in my arms these bumpy days will be forgotten like that smear of peanut butter.

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Two Amazing Gifts!

We have received two amazing gifts in the mail recently. I previously wrote about the anonymous person that sent us a gift card for the grocery store so we could use our grocery money towards the adoption. Well, our friend has struck again! I was able to buy groceries and then hit the ATM for cash which I stashed in our adoption account (I keep our adoption account at a separate bank just so we are never tempted to touch it). We have one more big check to write the adoption agency and I am getting close to having the full amount. After that we will still have our travel expenses but it will be nice to be done with the big agency checks.



The other amazing gift was a handmade quilt for Gayle! My sister-in-law Jen and her mother made this beautiful quilt (my picture does not do it justice). Jen is going to travel to Ethiopia with me on the second trip so I think I will let her give Gayle the quilt in person!

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Adoption Update and Our New Number

The past few weeks have been very difficult. We heard an unconfirmed rumor that the Ministry of Women's Affairs (MOWA) in Ethiopia would be greatly reducing the number of adoptions they approve. I was very nervous. Then the rumor was confirmed and I thought my heart would break at the thought that we could wait years for our little girl. We have recently learned that the people within MOWA that made this decision have been let go and we believe that adoptions will continue at a slower, but not drastically slower, pace.

MOWA decided to make these changes because they didn't have the manpower to investigate every adoption if they continued at the current rate. These investigations are very important because they insure that the adoption is ethical. We are praying that MOWA gets more staff and changes their process so that every adoption can be reviewed but without slowing the process and making countless children wait unnecessarily long in orphanages.

During this tumultuous time I have been comforted by the other families that are adopting through our agency. We've exchanged emails, had Facebook chats and even had a group prayer session. Whenever I felt overwhelmed by my fears I knew there was someone else whose faith was strong that would help get me through that scary moment.

But the thing that lifted my spirits the most was having lunch last week with my three AGCI Texas buddies.



Kim brought her son home from Ethiopia a year ago and is waiting to adopt a little girl, Jessica just brought her son home less than two months ago and Ginny is on the waitlist like me. We are all at different places on this journey but I felt that I could draw strength from these women and left our lunch feeling lighter than I had in weeks.

This was the first time the boys had met and they quickly became friends. They had a blast running around and enjoying the beautiful weather!







To end this post on a really positive note I will reveal our official waitlist number for March. Drumroll, please . . .




Now, to really end this post on a rock-your-world positive note I am going to reveal our "unofficial" number. This is the number we are currently at on the waitlist but it is not official because we only get the official number one a month and it is the number we are at on the first of the month.



WE ARE ONLY 3 SPOTS AWAY FROM BEING IN THE SINGLE DIGITS!!!

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The Song I Can't Get Out of my Head

This cute, catchy song has been on my mind all day! It is so easy to get frustrated and grumpy about this crazy adoption process and to forget how big a blessing it really is. I have complete trust that He knows what he is doing!

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Necklaces!

I am so excited to have our new adoption necklaces available here on the blog! Each necklace is handmade and they are all a little different. In addition to the three most popular ones that I have featured on the side of the blog I have several others that are pictured below.

Some of the necklaces have Bible verses that are especially important to me. This one from Matthew 18:5 reads And anyone who welcomes a child like this on my behalf is welcoming me.




This one has an abbreviated version of Philippians 1:7
It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me.




A couple of the necklaces are just about having fun and say Make a Joyful Noise or God Loves Adoption.








It is so neat to wear one of these necklaces and have total strangers compliment me and ask about adoption!

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8 Months of Waiting

Today marks 8 months of being on the waitlist for our little girl. When we first got on the waitlist we were told we would wait 8-10 months. I remember at the time I thought we could get our referral on Valentine's Day. Now I know we will not have our referral within that time frame. Our unofficial number is 25 and I can't imagine we could move to the number one spot in 2 months.

I feel strangely at peace about this. We have come so far that I refuse to feel discouraged now. I know there is a child meant for us and it just isn't time yet.

During my time as a "lady in waiting" I will continue to prepare the house. I will read more books and do more research on how to form a bond with our new daughter. I will treasure these last few months as a family of four. I will treasure the time when Laine was my youngest child and my only daughter. I will treasure the peaceful times with Jared when I listen to him read while snuggling together on the sofa. I will treasure the long runs I do with only the music coming from my headphones to keep me company. I will treasure the evenings with my husband when we laugh over the craziness of our day.

Everything will change when Gayle arrives. At least until we learn to be a family of five.

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February Number

We are officially number 26 on the wait list! That isn't a huge movement from last month but we are still thankful that we moved a little bit. I have a good feeling about this month and really hope to have great news when I post our next number!

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Created for Care Retreat

Back in October we had dinner with several families from our agency and one of the moms, Andrea, talked about wanting to do a retreat for adoptive moms. She was hoping to get 25 moms to attend. I have just spent the last 72 hours with 250 of the most amazing women on the planet! Her small retreat turned into a huge gathering with amazing speakers, important adoption education, prayer and fellowship and created long-lasting friendships. The beautiful resort and yummy food was pretty fantastic too. Here is a (rather long) recap of the weekend.

On Friday morning I awoke at 4:00am to find our streets covered in snow. It has only snowed twice before in my almost 4 years in Austin so this was a pretty big deal for us. I was extremely nervous driving to the airport and managed to only lose control of the car twice. But by 5:45 I was at the airport and ready to board a plane with my adoptive mom friend, Ginny. We made it to Atlanta, rented a car and headed for the beautiful Lake Lanier resort.

Although we were exhausted from traveling we couldn't help but be excited to arrive at the retreat. We checked in and received nametags that listed our hometowns and had a flag showing which country we were adopting from.



Friday night we joined with the other women for dessert and worship. Imagine the positive energy of 250 women who have all been called to advocate for orphans!

On Saturday morning we had breakfast and worship as a group before heading to two breakout sessions. I decided to do two different sessions on attachment and bonding. This is such an important topic and I want to be as prepared as possible before Gayle comes home. I took pages and pages of notes and feel much more confident that I have a plan to form that bond.

Then we took a break for lunch and I was able to spend more time with other moms from our agency. It was amazing to finally meet people that I exchange emails with and whose blogs I read!

After lunch I attended a session on African haircare. It was literally standing room only as about 100 women listened intently and took notes on how to care for our children's hair. The speakers were hilariously funny and patient with all of our questions.

The next session I attended was a talk on HIV positive children and the link between orphans and the AIDS crisis. The speaker was an amazing woman named Susan Hillis. She is a doctor with the CDC and a mom of 10, the majority of whom are adopted. She spoke several times at the retreat and was one of the most uplifting, encouraging and honest women I have ever met. She didn't shy away from answering the tough questions and shared stories from her personal life.

We had more free time after that session and then got back together for dinner and worship. At dinner I was able to talk with more adoptive moms and hear more moving stories about how people were led to adoption.

These are the Texas adoptive moms



These are just a few of the ladies that were there from our agency



After dinner we watched a documentary film about orphans in Uganda. It was heartbreaking and, at times, hard to watch. I thought about how easy it is to just look away when you see things like this. And how vitally important it is that we don't.

On Sunday we got together for one last breakfast and worship. Andrea, the woman who had the amazing vision to create this retreat, spoke and received a standing ovation from the women in the room. It was not enough to thank her and all her volunteers and speakers for what they had done. I arrived at the retreat feeling empty and left feeling filled. There is just no other way to describe how I felt.

I made it back to Texas just before bedtime and there is nothing more fun than being tackled as soon as you walk in the door. I was so happy to be back with my kids and love on them a little before putting them to bed. I was also very grateful and appreciative of Jed's support in sending me to the conference.

A new week has begun and I hope it is a week of referrals and that we move a little closer to Gayle. But I also know I have the strength to wait as long as I have to.

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I Have a Travel Buddy

When Ethiopia instituted the two trip policy we knew that Jed wouldn't go with me on the second trip. We are having a hard time leaving the kids for one trip, let alone two. But we also knew that I didn't want to make that second trip alone.

Over the last six months I have talked to a few friends and family members about going with me. Some loved the idea but knew it wouldn't really work out for them to go. A few said they would go, but only if I couldn't find someone else, they just didn't want me to go alone.

Well I am thrilled to say I have a confirmed travel buddy, my sister-in-law Jen. Jen is married to my brother Ed and is one of the sweetest people I have ever known. She is awesome with kids and very easy going (not someone who will flinch at traveling for 30+ hours to a third world country).

I am super excited about traveling with Jen. She lives in another state so we will have to work out the details when we get a little closer. For now I will rest easier knowing that I have such a wonderful person to be with during this crazy journey.

PS: Super, huge thanks to my mom for helping make it possible for me and Jen to travel together!

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Overwhelmed

I am truly overwhelmed by the amazing gift we received in the mail today. Someone anonymously sent us gift cards to our local grocery store with a letter telling us to use our grocery money towards the adoption!

The beauty of this gift truly overwhelms me. Someone put a lot of thought into how they could help us. I hope that one day I can thank them in person and tell them how much this means to us.

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We Have a New Bedroom!

When we decided to adopt one of the first things we talked about was where to put the baby. I had an open office at the top of our stairs and we decided to add a wall and convert that space into another bedroom.

We were worried about the cost for the wall and then Jed's dad, Marty, offered to fly out from California and build the wall. Marty (who is all-around awesome) is one of those people that is amazing with his hands. Over the years he has built our dining room table and a bookshelf for Jared. Then Marty changed one of the spare rooms in his house into a kids' bedroom complete with a handmade bunk bed that has a tube phone from the top bunk to the bottom.

In December Marty and his wife, Melinda, spent several days with us. Marty and Jed worked on the wall and I got to spend some time with Melinda (one of my favorite people in the world).



This is the view from the top of the stairs, before they began their work.



Father and son at work.






Grandpa Marty even let Laine and Jared write on the inside of the walls! We drew outlines of the kids and they put some mementos inside the wall.

This week we had a contractor come out and put the finishing touches on the wall. He did some electrical and drywall work and now it is finished!




Today I picked up primer and paint and I will start painting tomorrow. We decided to move Jared into the new room and his old room will be the baby's room. Jared is super excited to get a new room and secretly happy that he will be on the other side of the house from the girls' rooms.

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Finally!

For the past 7 weeks we haven't seen any movement on the waitlist. Today we moved up one spot! Now I know that may not seem like a lot, but we are just super thankful that there has been any movement. Usually, when there is one referral there is a couple of referrals. We are crossing our fingers that we move up more in the upcoming days.


I have been going a little crazy during the wait (and we aren't even into the teens yet!). I have definitely been "nesting." I have reorganized our house (see picture of my ridiculously neat pantry above) and cleaned things like they have never been cleaned before. Jared keeps asking me if we are having company. I don't think the kids are used to everything being so tidy.

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216 days

216 days.

That is how long we have been on the waitlist to be matched to our daughter. That is 7 months and 2 days. When we joined our agency the approximate wait time was 6-8 months. By the time our paperwork was finished they had changed the estimate to 8-10 months. Well, we know we won't be getting matched in a month. But I am still holding out some hope that it will be within the 10 month time frame.

224 days.

That is how long I was pregnant with Laine. It may seem weird that I know the exact number of days. I was on vacation in France without Jed and we know I got pregnant the night I came home. We don't know why Laine came early. Although if you know Laine's personality you know that she is not the most patient person.

I don't remember the 224 days with Laine going by so slowly. But like most painful things in motherhood, I am sure the joy of our new daughter will completely overshadow this long wait.

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One Year Ago Today

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Sometimes things just work out . . .

I have really been struggling the last month with the long wait and delays from Ethiopia. I am really a positive, upbeat person but there have been recent days when it is a struggle. A couple of months ago I learned about a conference for adoptive mamas in Atlanta in February. I really wanted to go and be surrounded by other women who have adopted or are in the process. It is a Christian conference and I longed for the fellowship. But, of course, there was no way I could afford to go since we are still working hard to pay for the adoption.

Then a few weeks ago I got a statement for my Alaska Airlines visa. We got the visa a few years ago when we thought we might end up living in Seattle and I almost never use it. The statement was showing that they were billing me for an annual fee. So I called to cancel the card and the customer service rep said she would lower the fee to $10 and give me 10,000 bonus miles to keep the card. She pointed out that I would then have enough for a free flight with limited destination and date choices. I asked if it could be used to go to Atlanta during the conference. Her answer: yes!

So I contacted the organizer of the conference to see if there were any spots open. I knew the conference had sold out but I was hoping a spot had opened. I got an email from the organizer. There was an open spot!

I talked it over with Jed and he really wanted me to go. Even though I only had to pay for my hotel and the small conference fee I was still not sure. Jed said I should go for it. So I made all the reservations and started to get excited. But I was still worried about the money.

Then I opened the mail today and found a refund from our school district. It looks like we over payed on a school bond a while back. The check was for the exact amount I need for the conference!

This conference seems like just what I need to get me back on track emotionally and help me prepare for the next several months of waiting.

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January Number

We are number 28 on the waitlist! I thought we were going to be number 29 so I was pretty excited to get the email from our case worker letting us know we were even lower.

Things are still moving very slowly in Ethiopia. We just have to continue being patient.

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Happy New Year!

I truly can't believe how things have changed from New Year's Day 2010 to New Year's Day 2011. If I could go back in time I would tell myself to hold on tight for the amazing roller coaster ride that was to come. It's hard to imagine now, but we weren't even planning to adopt at this time last year.

The start of a new year always brings resolutions and a special hopefulness that the year will go well. It seems we are off to a good start. We were very happy to learn that most of the families from our agency that had been delayed by the new embassy changes are now on planes to Ethiopia to pick up their children! What a wonderful way for them to start 2011.

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