Lots of Movement

I know the blog has been quiet for a while. I have had several people ask me if things are just slow right now. Actually, things have been moving very quickly. Our agency has done a ton of referrals and our new wait list number will be much lower. I will post our official number once I have our monthly phone call with our social worker sometime this week or next week.

This has been a very difficult few weeks for us. With every referral we know we get closer to Gayle and that makes our hearts sing with joy. But that also means we get closer to writing that last big check and then booking very expensive plane tickets. We are not financially ready to do either of those things so with every referral we also get knots in our stomachs.

We have been working on some fundraising ideas and I will continue to do babysitting and anything else I can to make money. Jed already works 70+ hours a week so there is definitely nothing more that he can do.

We have been penny pinching since we started the adoption and what was a fun game at first has become really stressful. From the beginning we said we didn't want Jared and Laine's lives to change because of the adoption money. We still let them do gymnastics once a week (even though it kills me to write that check every month) but we had to say no to the other activities they wanted. There are no more movies or trips to indoor playareas, no more special treat trips for ice cream or to their favorite Mexican restaurant. The kids are getting tired of "meatless Monday" and sandwiches for dinner.

My mom was just here for a visit and bought the kids new beds (Laine is almost six and was still in her toddler bed with her feet touching the end) and winter clothes. We made a big deal out of both and it felt a little like Christmas.

We haven't told Jared and Laine the reason things are different and I hope that they don't realize why. They are such amazing kids and are so excited about their sister that they would probably be happy to knowingly make the sacrifices. But I worry that they will feel resentful.

Despite the stress and the worries Jed and I just talked about how our commitment to the adoption is stronger than ever. We still feel that call in our hearts. We just have to stay strong and have faith that we will get through this time.